Joker Quotes

You might think that this post is just like the Top Ten Joker Quotes, but this is a completely different post showing not just my top ten, but every joker line in The Dark Knight in order from memory. So, read on and tell me which is your favorite or even your top ten, then check out mine if your interested. Enjoy!


  1. No, no, no, I kill the bus driver.
  2. I believe… whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger.
  3. And I thought my jokes were bad.
  4. How ’bout a magic trick? I’m gonna make this pencil disappear.
  5. Taa-daa, It’s gone.
  6. Oh and by the way, he suit, it wasn’t cheap, you outta know, you bought it.
  7. Let’s wind the clocks back a year, these cops and lawyers wouldn’t dare cross any of you, I mean what happened, did your balls drop off? You see a guy like me…
  8. A guy like me, llook listen I know why you choose to have your little (cough) group therapy session in broad daylight, I know why your afraid to go out at night, the Batman. See Batman has shown this town your true colors unfortunately. Dent, he’s just the beginning and as for the, the televisions, so called plan, Batman has no jurisdiction, he’ll find him and make ’em squeal, I know the squealers when I see ’em and…
  9. It’s simple we uh, kill the Batman.
  10. If your good at something, never do it for free.
  11. Uh, half.
  12. I’m not, no I’m not, look if we don’t deal with this soon, little, uh, Gambol here won’t be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
  13. Ahh-ta-ta-ta-ta, let’s not blow this out of proportions.
  14. Yeah.
  15. Look why don’t you call when you wanna start taking things a little more seriously, here’s my card. Ummmm hmmmm.
  16. How ’bout alive hmm?
  17. You wanna know how I got these scars, my father was a drinker and a fiend and one night he comes home all crazier than usual, mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that, not one bit, so me watching he takes the knife to her, laughing we’ll does it. He turns to me and says “Why So Serious?” He comes to me with the knife, why so serious, sticks the blade in my mouth, Let’s put a smile on that face, annndd, why so serious?
  18. Well, our operation is small, but there’s a lot of potential for aggressive expansion. So which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team, oh, and there’s only one spot opened ight now so were going to have, try outs. Make it fast.
  19. Tell them your name.
  20. Are you the real Batman?
  21. No, no, then why do dress up like ’em? Woo-Hoo-Hoo-ho.
  22. Oh you Bryan, you really do, ah shhh shhh shh, so you think Batman has made Gotham a better place? Hmm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME! You see this is how crazy Batman has made Gotham. You want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in, oh and for everyday he doesn’t people will die, starting tonight, I’m a man of my word.
  23. We made it.
  24. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight’s entertainment. I only have one question, where is Harvey Dent?
  25. You know where Harvey is? You know who he is?
  26. You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him, just little something. No.
  27. You know, I’ll settle for his loved ones.
  28. You know, you remind me of my father, I HATED my father!
  29. Well hello beautiful, you must be Harvey’s squeeze, an you are beautiful. Ah ya look nervous, is it the scars? You wanna know how I got ’em. Come ‘ere, look at me. So I had a wife and she was beautiful, like you, who tells me that I worry too much, who tells me that I need to smile more, who gambles and gets in deep, with the sharks.One day they curve her face, and we got no money for surgery. She can’t take, I just wanna see her smile again, I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars, so I take a razor blade and do this, to myself. And you know what, she can’t stand the sight of me, she leaves, and now I see the funny side, now I’m always smiling.
  30. A little fight in ya, I like that.
  31. Sure and you just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are.
  32. Very poor choice of words.
  33. Eighth and Orchard, you’ll find Harvey Dent there.
  34. Hmmm.
  35. Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. Whoop ‘scuse me, I wanna drive.
  36. I like this job, I like.
  37. Ok rack ’em up, rack ’em up, rack ’em up, rack ’em up.
  38. Now there’s a Batman.
  39. Ohh, you wanna play? c’mon, c’mon. You wanna play.
  40. Uhh, cmon hit me, cmon cmon, I want you to do it, I want you to do it, cmon, cmon, do it. HIT ME! Cmon I want you to it cmon DO IT! HIT ME! HIT ME!
  41. Could you please just give me a minute?
  42. Evening Commissioner.
  43. Ofcourse not.
  44. Me, I was right here, who did you leave ’em with, you people? That is assuming they still are your people and not Maroni’s. Does it depress Commissioner knowing just how alone you truly are, does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent’s current predicament?
  45. What’s the time?
  46. Well, depending on the time, he could be in one spot or several.
  47. Ahh, the good cop bad cop routine.
  48. Ah, never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy, he can’t feel the next…see.
  49. I wanted to see what you’d do and ya didn’t disappoint, ya let five people die. Then ya let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that’s cold.
  50. Those mob fools want you gone so they can go back to the way things were, but I know the truth, there’s no going bac, you’ve changed things, forever.
  51. Haa, haa, ha, I, I don’t wanna kill you, what would I do with out you, go back to rippen off mob dealers, no, no, no, No, you, you complete meee.
  52. Don’t talk like one of them, your not. Even if you’d like to be, to them your just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper. You see their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. They’re dropped at the first sign of trouble. There only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show ya, when the chips are down, these, uh, these civilized people, they’ll eat each other. See I’m not a monster, I was just ahead of the curve.
  53. You have all these rules and you think they’ll save you.
  54. Well then that’s the rule you’ll have to break in order to know the truth.
  55. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules and tonight your gonna break your one rule.
  56. Oh, well there’s only minutes left and your gonna have to play my little game to save one of them.
  57. You know, for a second there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her.
  58. Ah, look at ya go.
  59. Does Harvey know about you and his little Bully.
  60. Killing is making a choice.

8 thoughts on “Joker Quotes

  1. You missed the whole hospital scene… the whole “do I look like I have a plan” part, or whatever, where he says he is like a dog chasing a car and, “wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it.”

  2. “i’m only burning my see..what this city needs is a better class of criminal..i can give it to ’ go tell your men they work for me now..this city is mine..(they wont work for a freak like you)..oh really? now why dont i cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches..then youll see how a hungry dog see its not about money..its about sending a message..everything burns”

    i like the rack em up thing too..

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